This quote confirmed that the way I had been feeling lately was yet another self-made mess in my head.
Working as a Yours London brand ambassador this week was a much needed ego boost. It was a dream come true because I never thought an opportunity like that would ever arise in a place like Dubai. I got to meet editors from the regions most popular magazines and it was wonderful to see positive feedback from everyone, even from editors who weren’t plus size. All of them had issues with shopping in general, irrespective of their size. Many editors mentioned how tough it was to source clothing for features involving their readers who are of different sizes and shapes. The perfect pair of jeans was the most common qualm, and lots of stories about weird sizing and lack of options were exchanged. In short, shopping can be a hassle no matter what your size is, there just aren’t enough options and representation.
I also witnessed a plus size girl on the brink of a meltdown after trying on an endless amount of clothes in sizes too small for her. She kept saying that everything made her look fat and she seemed so unhappy, I just wanted to reach out and hug her. I didn’t because I’m pretty sure that would have scared the bejeezus out of her. But I really felt for her, we’ve all experienced similar situations and some of us (me included) totter on a fragile line of denial and low self esteem.
I guess I was out of touch with the reality of how much low self esteem and body hate still exists, being an eye witness to it was a reminder of why this blog was created in the first place.
I’ve come a long way from being that person, by no means am I 100% body confident but thanks to blogging and years of experience as a shopaholic, I know what clothing makes me feel good, upsizing isn’t a big deal and I’m perfectly fine with being called fat.
Being a part of such a fantastic plus size fashion community means we’re surrounded by amazing, inspiring women on a daily basis. We see them in our social feeds and seek their blogs out regularly, and while I know the negatives exist-our favorite bloggers have off days too and the fashion industry pretends to be size friendly only when its trendy, I guess I only chose to see the positive side.
I was so used to seeing fabulous plus size women on a daily basis that the girl in the dressing room surprised me. I realized that all the recent negative feelings I had been experiencing towards my body were trivial in comparison to hers, and worst of all, they were still a normal fact of daily life for many women. At least I had the support and understanding of an online community, not to mention great friends. Instead of focusing on how crap I felt, I needed to focus on the fact that I have a medium to help create change for myself and other women around me.
I got a much needed wake up call to appreciate the importance of blogging, it’s not about who has the best wardrobe or most hits, it’s about the connections we make and the positive impact we have on other women just like us.
And of course, I need to develop the habit of feeling grateful versus the easier option of hate.