Being The Fat Daughter was one of those posts where I unashamedly shared my feelings. It’s something I think twice about now that people in my real life know about this blog. I was in no way prepared for all the reactions. I still get comments, emails and messages about it, almost every morning. I reply to the messages and emails but I don’t reply to the comments. I see it in my side bar every time I visit my blog but something just holds me back from clicking on that post. I guess it’s too emotional for me, it brings back a lot of feelings like sadness and shame. I’m also not the most forgiving person, I love my mom but I’m still defensive around my folks and I get a little bitter when I’m reminded about those things I wrote about.
It’s also heartbreaking because there are so many of us who have been hurt the same way just because of our size. It doesn’t help that most of the people who have hurt us are the ones we love the most.
I just feel the need to explain to you that I do appreciate the comments but that post is just something I do not want to relive again. While a lot of good came out of publishing that, a lot of those feelings still exist. I worry about relapsing so much some times, it’s one of my fears when ever I think about trying to start working out again or what about when I have a kid, will all those issues come back and will I lose myself again? Hell, what happens at the next family wedding announcement? It’s not the easiest thing to control, some times I wonder how I reached this happy little place I’m at now.
I just wanted to tell you that, I just wanted to let you know that not everyone might get it but trust me, I know. I get it and you’re not alone. The most I could give you is honesty and inspiration to love yourself more and not give a fuck about anyone who thinks your body is any of their business. It’s not our purpose to be pleasant looking, warrior women like us are about so much more than that.
I don’t want to preach, I know I say this all the time and I’m also guilty of not listening to my own advice, but you really just have to choose yourself over any negative crap in your life.
Your happiness is what matters the most, even when you’re a mom, you need to try to keep yourself happy too (live by example, right?). Don’t underestimate your self worth, it is such a waste of life.
I hope we continue to inspire each other just for the simple hope that our kids don’t shed any tears for something as trivial as being different.
And I’m always happy to see messages/ emails in my inbox 🙂
Lots of ridiculous amount of love and thanks <3