Blog, Body Image, Diary

Thankful

November 24, 2011

Our lives aren’t perfect, at least in our eyes they’re not. There’s always more to want, changes and improvements needed, a constant destination of climbing up and evolving.

I’m in my 20s and I keep wondering if we ever reach that point where we’re satisfied, or do we give up?

My life isn’t perfect, there’s a lot I wish I could change but I guess today of all days is a good time to be thankful for my life in all it’s imperfections and hurdles. At the end of it all, it is and will always be my life. My finger prints, my footsteps, my exhale, my tears and my laughter.

My crashes. I pick myself up and put up the façade of the confident, happy girl and pretend to move on.

Thank you for coming here to my world, even if you don’t comment, just the fact that someone thinks I’m worth some of their time, is good enough to pick me up when the people I love have knocked me down.

I’ll fight it, I promise. I just need to take it slowly and gather my own strength. It’s been an endless cycle of conversations and fights about being too fat and not being good enough or being an embarrassment. My parents words keep ringing in my head and I’m starting to believe them.

I just don’t want to deal with it anymore, I don’t want to write or talk about it, I don’t want to cry about it anymore.

I’m just going to be thankful for the people who do have faith in me and don’t consider my size or weight a measure of my worth.

I really wish taking a vacation of invisibility existed.

Love,

weesha_thumb_thumb

despair

Comments

comments

  • annakatie

    Weesha,  I know what your feeling, from the other end of the age spectrum.  I beat myself up about being fat and old.  I get dressed thinking I look good and when I go outside I don't want to go anywhere because my perception has changed.
    My Mom has passed away but I still remember my frantic closet raids from when she was coming to visit and had no problems telling me I looked really fat (and that was 30 pounds ago)

    I have been reading your blog for a long time, I love it and I love that you are beautiful and an inspiration.  You give me ideas and smiles even though I have the extra added insecurity of thinking I am too old.

    Weesha, you are beautiful, and from what you write you are beautiful on the inside as well.

    Love,
    Lesa
    Always Summer  

  • Chae Barton

    Be a woman worth her weight ;-): When you’re plus size woman, people like to say "yeah, she's cute in the face", as if being full figured is such a disgrace. Honey, I’m cute in the face, and I’m thick in the waist. I look good whether I’m in cotton, leather, or lace. I’m beautiful, vibrant and above all, smart! And there's more to me than my weight, I also have a heart. Yes my clothes maybe a bigger size, that just means you have access to a bigger prize. We all are not self-conscious about our weight, and we never have a problem getting a date. So don’t think your small frame gives you more pull, I’m a hot, sexy, curvy woman with a figure that's full.

  • Sarah aka DoubleXL

    I love this post!!! Keep your head up at **ALL** times because you are so blessed an worth it !!!

    Sarah
    QueenSizedFlava.com

  • Sarah aka DoubleXL

    I love this post!!! Keep your head up at times because you are so blessed an worth it !!!

  • lovelovefashion

    You are as valuable and precious as anyone, hurtful comments sting, but they are not true, keep smiling and walk with your head held high,good luck

  • Gothierlydia

    You're not too fat Weesha!!!You are just a beautiful girl,don't care about people say and live your life !!!!Kisses
    Lydia

  • Lindsay

    Weesha, I love your blog. It's refreshing to see your awesome outfits (especially from someone from the Middle East, which I really appreciate). I know it's easy to tell you to ignore what everyone else says, but it's a hell of a thing to do, All I can say is you're gorgeous, and anyone who doesn't see it that way is a douchebag. You've always got my vote 🙂