Blog, Body Image, OOTD

Haters don’t have to hate.

June 8, 2011

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Forever 21+ dress, Koton belt, Aldo bag, Accessorize sandals

 

Do you ever feel like you’re the only one battling this particular cause? Like, why doesn’t everyone else get it?

I usually feel like this about animal rights and judgment about people’s appearances. But at least we have PETA and other organizations, there’s still just a handful of people who realize that the constant bitching, not just about size but about  things like choice in clothing, hair, even the size of a girls nose is NOT OKAY.

 

If you would never wear a particular type of clothing, good for you. Don’t wear it but don’t bitch about people who do.

It’s their choice, their comfort and their body. You’re not a style god and just because you’re a blogger or have been told you have good style, you are still not a Style God. You’re not that special, sorry.

 

If you think a girl wears too much make up, instead of the usual negative thought, how about thinking of a reason? What if she feels ugly and piles on the make up to feel better? or maybe she has a really bad scar on her face? 

The only difference you make with your negative words is that you made her feel ugly with the make up on too.

 

If you think fat rolls, stretch marks, back acne, whatever, should be hidden, good for you. Hide yourself.

Not everyone agrees with you. Some people choose to embrace their bodies and wave the finger at everyone or everything that tells them not to.

Some people don’t think it’s such a big deal or just want to wear what they want or even have different levels of comfort. Some people realize that we are all human, even celebrities, and Photoshop and marketing campaigns are fuelled to make you feel ugly to spend money. Who are you to judge someone else against your level of comfort and insecurities?

 

Even when you talk about celebrities, yes they have a team to make them look good but when you’re commenting about that celeb’s weight gain or loss, funny nose, frizzy hair, etc you are commenting about women everywhere who share those attributes.

You, along with every other person in the world who chooses to bitch about that celebrity, are collectively bringing down women who are insecure and little girls who will grow up to be insecure.

 

I know that we’re not perfect and that some times it’s considered human nature but before you tweet or say that thought, think about the consequence it could have on some one who might not even be connected to you.

 

I’m no saint, I’ve made these mistakes too. Who hasn’t?  I would look at a girl or celeb and say she’s too skinny, but who the hell am I to decide what is the appropriate size for her body? I would even think “at least I’m not as fat as her” or ask “Am I as chubby as her?” And I’m still training myself to just mind my own business and worry more about me being so judgmental instead of the ‘right’ size.

 

At some point, we really have to choose to evolve. It doesn’t become ok if everyone is doing it. Yes, we’re all entitled to our opinion but that entitlement also means respect for other’s entitled opinions and feelings too.

 

It’s easy to think you’re pretty or smart or popular or successful so why not join in the constant cycle of hate? Hell, you’re entitled to it. You work hard to look good or be successful. You’re better than that girl.

But have you ever thought about those standards you set for yourself and others? Especially as women, why is it ok to judge the next girl and why is it always a competition?

 

And if you’re a blogger, isn’t self expression the main aim here? So, if someone does an outfit post with flip flops, because you are entitled to an opinion and have 913947 followers on your fashion blog, you can criticize her choice of self expression/ outfit or style?

 

Sorry but your perfect hair, numerous followers or BMW doesn’t make you anything spectacular. You’re just human like the rest of us, there will always be someone prettier or more popular and there will always be constant ways to bring people down.

 

Would you rather help implement change in all the hate or help feed it? Choose to appreciate instead of depreciate. What might be trivial to you, could be a boulder to some one else.

 

End of Rant.

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Comments

comments

  • Preachit

    preach it girl!

  •  That's very well-said! I often feel that some bloggers think they know everything about what people should wear.

    P.S.: This morning I wore flip flops and didn't care! lol

  • Yara

    Haters gonna hate!

    Continue being beautiful, Weesha! <3

  • You are not only beautiful, and a breath of fresh air.
    I never want anything to do with people that put others down.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • As you should! I wear flip flops all the time, this summer is hard enough without balancing in heels everywhere 🙂 Thanks by the way <3

  • Thank you Yara 🙂

  • Thank you so much <3  and I know you do, more people should be like you 🙂

  • You look beautiful.
    And I agree with everything in your post.

  • Happy Joyjoy

    well said! 😀

  • I love your words and I couldn't agree more!! It is so ugly and immature to talk about others. There is so much judgment in this world that it just makes me sick to my stomach! You are so right about the fact that while you are talking about others like you are just so perfect there is always someone prettier or smarter than you. God made each of us unique and we are all beautiful in His sight! I love the print of your outfit and that belt looks very Native American which of course I LOVE!! You are beautiful! Kiah 

  • CurvyGirlChic

    Don't know what to say except "<333333!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  • Thank you! and omg, I love your name!

  • Thank you Gazel, relieved that my fellow bloggers agree 🙂

  • You look stunning! And thank you for a powerful, honest, and thought provoking post! <3

  • jolie robe ;O)

  • Indy

    My dear, you are gorgeous as usual.  You were made to wear those bold beautiful colors!  I agree with you, also.  I stick with what I learned from Bambi – "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all!"

  • *Stands up and applauds*

  • Boopnut39

    I always love what you wear.  You are inspiring to me to just be comfortable with where I'm at.  I love the phrase about being entitlement means having respect for others opinions and such.  I just got my feelings hurt on Facebook of all places.  Why are some people so rude?

  • Mhairimay

    All True, and you look amazing as always!

  • I remember when I first started blogging, I was a bigger girl, size 14-16. Soon enough I started getting all sorts of comments about my weight from really skinny bloggers who have thousands of followers and felt like they were justified to judge. So I stopped blogging for a whole year and spent a lot of time trying to loose weight. I'm a size 8 now and I have never got a single nasty comment about my weight since I started my new blog, but it doesn't mean I'm any happier. I think you have a really good attitude to dealing with these nasty people, I wish I had the same mindset as you when it happened to me!

  • ciamaria

    So true, and wonderfully well put. People should be exposed to this message everywhere, and there would be less hate in the world.

  • Lesa

    Hi Weesha, I loved your post.  I fall into the trap that i feel like I can't post because i am too old or too heavy, I look at other blogs and get intimidated , especially the people giving advice (which I sometimes don't agree with),  I gotta stop and thanks for the wake up call my friend.

    You look gorgeous today-love the dress, really love the belt, you look all ready for summer.

  • I'm glad Lesa, no one should make you feel bad about yourself especially fellow bloggers. You are a wonderful human being and deserve to wear whatever makes you happy!

  • I'm so glad you commented Harlow. Although I don't get any hateful comments I get negativity in my real life all the time and I can only imagine it being added up to your blog, which is supposed to be your haven for self expression. My mindset developed out of frustration really, I have a low tolerance for negativity because I know how destructive it can make me. I hope you get there too, and I hope people realize the impact of their words when they read your comment 🙂

  • I think people are rude because it's become normal to be rude. It's normal to pick on 'flaws' because it happens in the media everyday. Or sometimes they're just mean lol. But I really hope there's a change and people realize the responsibilities of their words.

  • Thank you Veronica, it helps to have fellow bloggers agree. It shows I'm not the only one who thinks like this, phew!

  • Thanks Nekiah, I'm glad you agree 🙂

  • aah thank you 🙂 Gazillion hearts back to you too hun, you're one of those bloggers who I totally respect btw. You are awesome <3

  • Dee

    I just found your blog, and I love it!! I think you are beautiful, in every way, and an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your fabulous style!

  • Powerfully and purposely said.  We just need to stop being so judgmental of others as all it leads to is judgment of ourselves with negative results.

  • Loooove you for this. You rock on, babe!

  • lingual

    I totally agree with you! I think that what we all must learn is to always find the good things about everything and everyone and if one fails to do so- just to keep that negative to themselves! This world is already full of hatred and negative attitude and doesn't need some more of those! and as usual you have wonderfully expressed this thought in your post! (well, you kinda always do that-you have a way with words 😉 )
    And just have to say that I love your style and how colorful and joyful u always look! 🙂

  • You rock! That dress looks amazing, and I love your attitude. I think it would make the world a better place if we spent less time worrying about other people & criticizing what they are doing.

  • Anita Riot

    *standing ovation and encore* Amazing! just amazing! I agree with every single word you typed in this post here! you rule! thanks for this! 

    xoxo
    A_riot
    http://thickthreads.blogspot.com

  • Sue-Ann Francis

    this outfit is very beautiful!!!

  • SAMILLE

    LUV IT WEESHA!!!!  AAA  I LOVE U GIRL!  http://thickdaddys.blogspot.com/

  • Fruitinabox

    Great post. I feel sorry for women who sledge other woman on appearance, as they must truly believe they have nothing to offer the world other than a set of tits and a pretty face. People at peace with themselves don't judge others. No feelings of worthlessness = no desire to make yourself feel better by dragging others down.

  • Well said! (^_^)

  • Loving that dress!!! New follower here 🙂 http://mythriftedcloset.blogspot.com/