I absolutely love this dress, the peekaboo pretend lace layer and sheer neckline make it super pretty with a hint of sexy, and it’s the perfect length on me (I’m 5’8 fyi). I was totally ready to get my dance moves out in this dress!
This post has taken a while to write, I love sharing other people’s body image stories but it’s still really difficult for me to talk about mine. I’ve realized that the only thing holding me back is fear. It’s basically the fear of letting myself be vulnerable, it’s why I can’t open up so easily on the blog anymore because I now know the faces reading it. It’s why I’m sometimes awkward at a party because I’m fully aware that most people don’t share my opinions of beauty or respect at every size. It’s also why, up until now, I have never dared to bare my fat arms. Cardigans and blazers were my comfort blanket and while I think I still managed to be stylish, the reality is that I was hiding behind them.
I can pinpoint the exact moment I decided to never show my arms again, and please note that I’m not sharing this story for the purpose of blaming my parents. I’d like to think I’m way past blaming them for insecurities I have chosen to hold onto. I’m sharing this memory with you because I’m sure we share a similar experience.
I was 11 years old and my mom bought me these super cute pjs, they were sleeveless and I was already pretty self conscious about being the “big” girl. But she gave me this awesome pep talk about how I should be “bindaas” and not care about what other people think. So, I wore those cute pjs but as soon as I stepped into the living room, my dad turned around and said, “ Should she be wearing that? It looks so bad with her big arms”. Those words hurt me more than they should have, I don’t fully understand why they had such a huge impact on me, enough to make me immediately change what I was wearing. They’ve always stuck around in my head since then.
I’ve attempted to go sleeveless many times but could never go through with it, I always felt like I looked so ugly with my flabby arms hanging out even though at the back of my mind, I knew wearing a cardigan or blazer didn’t really hide chubby arms. You can’t look thin if you’re not.
So why the sudden change of heart? I owe it all to the amazing plus size bloggers around me. I wanted to stop staring at their amazing sleeveless outfits with feelings of shame and inferiority, I really wanted to be as confident as them. How can I preach body positivity if I can’t face my own fears? If those ladies can rock it, then so can I. I really did not want to turn 30 and still hide behind cardigans, I wanted to be a super strong fat girl with an invisible middle finger on my forehead, which would light up towards anyone who thought I needed to cover up because of my size. The more I read that sentence, the more I want it to be an actual thing, like a mutant power or something!
Anyway, I just did it. I’ve always chickened out whenever I let myself overthink it, “What if someone says something?”, “ but it makes me look fatter” or “ what if people stare?”. I made sure I was all waxed so I couldn’t hide behind that excuse and one afternoon, instead of standing in front of the mirror and obsessing about it, I just walked out the door. We went to the mall and a restaurant, and and while there was a cocktail of insecurity, fear, relief and happiness churning around in my stomach, nobody around me gave a damn.
I’ve been forcing myself to go sleeveless since then, the man says he’s created a monster because I hate covering up now (also, he’s been bugging me about going sleeveless for years). It’s actually a lot more comfortable than wearing a cardigan or blazer, some dresses do look better without a cover up and there’s this amazing feeling of empowerment because I confronted one of my major body insecurities.
I still haven’t worked up the nerve to wear anything sleeveless around my folks, mind you I visit them with a full face of make up just to avoid questions like “are you sick?” or “have you gained weight?”. So, there’s still that one hurdle but I am constantly forcing myself to bare my arms on a daily basis, I even instagrammed it with #fearlessfatgirls so I wouldn’t be able to chicken out. I make sure to acknowledge the fact that I have big, fat arms and even when I don’t think they look so great in pictures, they’re my arms and I need to learn to embrace them.
It’s given my wardrobe a fresh perspective and my shopping options have become wider (though this might not be such a good thing #shopaholic), but I’m mostly enjoying the feeling of having accomplished a major milestone in my journey of self love.
I hope I can be one of those girls other fat girls look at and think, “I want to be like her” and maybe even feel inspired enough to face whatever insecurity they’re battling.
If you’ve ever played with the idea of ditching the cardigan or leggings, I 100% believe you can do it too. It really is like facing any fear, you just have to do it to realize it is possible and not as big of a deal as you think it is. And then it’s a matter of forcing yourself to not let anyone put that fear back in you, including yourself. My breaking point was being frustrated with how it was holding me back from being a good body positive, plus size blogger, a responsibility I cherish. Also, the rebel in me was aching to just let go. If I don’t care about what people think about purple hair, why on earth should I care about their thoughts on fat girls baring their arm? I definitely get stared at a lot more for the purple hair than my arms, it so silly!
And of course, there’s an endless list of amazing plus size bloggers who are there to inspire you and support you.
So, do you think you’re up for joining the #fearlessfatgirl party?
Forever 21 plus dress / Accessorize camera bag / River Island flatform sandals / Michael Kors watch
As always, thank you for reading <3
Oh yeah, I’m wearing a kimono and shorts again. I’m shameless like that but at least my hair is cool, thanks to Amanda’s super easy Gibson tuck hair tutorial (I love her!).
We bought a new camera which is awesome because it means I spend less time posing in the heat, and the photos need minimum editing. I love how these pictures turned out, we caught the sun during that magical golden hour moment and of course, I have a wonderful photographer. I hope you like them too!
I hope you’re having a wonderful day x
If you’re a good Asos stalker, you’ll know that you can get an added 10% off their sale section (which has stuff that’s 70% off) by using promo code GAME10. If this is news to you, go ahead to ASOS now, speed is as essential shopaholic skill y’know.
So, here’s what I got!
I live in the desert, I’m allowed to buy as many perfect summer dresses as possible. A girl needs all the help she can get to be pretty in this heat.
Only because I am a fan of Wednesday Adams.
Again, the whole summer dresses desert living excuse. Plus, I like how pretty and floaty it is. Perfect for a cocktail party by the pool with some gold jewelry and fabulous sunglasses.
I’ve always wanted a faux leather midi with laser cut details, it’s one of those skirts I picture myself wearing when I’m old and still fabulous, it’s modest yet edgy and very easy to style.
So, what did you get???
You know I’m a firm believer in looking good to feel good, never underestimate the power of great clothes! This applies to almost any situation- first dates, interviews, those days when you need a pick me up and even the gym. Remember when it was acceptable to go to the gym in baggy old tshirts and sweats? *shudder*
Thankfully, we now have heaps of stylish activewear options that aren’t just cute, but technologically advanced so they’re comfortable and functional too. As usual, finding plus size options can be tricky so I was super excited to receive and invite to She Moves over at Citywalk in Jumeirah. CEO, Devayani Dayal, talked about the importance of offering high quality, size friendly clothing that flatters and functions well for different activities. The stores stocks everything from dance wear, running pants, sports bras, yoga pants, accessories and so much more.
My favorites were a selection of super funky leggings that are perfect for something fun like zumba, they also had cute summer dresses that would work as cover ups after a day at the beach.
I tried on a few things at the store so here’s my take:
The activewear offered is not as size inclusive as I would like it to be, you have options that go up to a size XL (16US) and in some cases, XXL and XXXL.
I tried on a pair of Flat Waist pants in XL (below), they fit me perfectly and were extremely comfortable. They’re made from sanded Dry Wik fabric which draws moisture from the skin to the fabric’s outer surface in order to evaporate quickly. They’re labelled as great for every activity on the website, and I wear them for long walks in Dubai’s heat. I’m a size 16 US (18 UK) for reference.
I struggled to find tops that fit well, most likely because I’m quite busty and usually go a size bigger on top. I found some cute options like a few tank tops and this cute Tear Drop Tee (below). It’s a little short on me but the fabric was flattering and comfortable.
I had to try on those funky leggings I mentioned earlier- I love the galaxy print ones, they went up to an XXL and had quite a bit of stretch in them so they were very comfortable. I’d highly recommend getting these! You can find them online here.
I’m also wearing the Lemon Seamless Sports bra in the picture below. While I kind of managed to fit into it, this was a medium level impact bra. I really wasn’t comfortable in it and didn’t feel like it offered me the necessary support. I was disappointed in the sports bras selection at the store because finding one that fit was a struggle.
I also tried on one of the maxi dresses but it didn’t fit me very well, they go up to a size 16US but they vary in styles so some of them could possibly have a little more give than the others.
All in all, I think it’s worth checking out She Moves if you’re looking to spruce up your work out wardrobe, but if you’re above a size 18 US, I don’t think you would find a lot.
Their online store has a handy sizing chart, and while I do recommend visiting the store to try before you buy, once you know your favorites, you could just order them online instead of making the trip to Citywalk. I would love to see a larger plus size selection but on the bright side, their plus size offerings were cute and good quality.
Before we go any further, the middle strap thingy of my left gladiator shoe is not straight and it’s driving me crazy but I thought it would be really stupid of me to waste ootd photos because of something that small. It’s not like I’m a perfectionist even though it’s making me want to pull my hair out. Thank you to my photographer (the man) for zooming in and taking photos of the shoes and not noticing they weren’t straight. *Breathe*
Moving on, these shoes are fabulous. They’re comfortable, easy to slip on and can make any outfit look super trendy and glam. They’re available in gold, black and brown, and look great with skirts and shorts. Most importantly, they have adjustable straps so they fit over my legs with no issues. I don’t think my legs are super chubby but knee high gladiators don’t usually fit me, I tried the Steve Madden ones yesterday and they wouldn’t fit over my calves. Booooo! They were beautiful shoes, but hey silver lining- they were expensive and I shouldn’t spend too much on a shoe trend that will only be around for a few months. Right?
I still want brown, knee high gladiators to wear with summer dresses. I will look awesome in them and let’s be honest, who doesn’t want sexy shoes that allow you to be lazy about shaving your legs?